WEAK NO MORE
I can't begin to tell you all how great I feel. I'm a long way from my weight goal, but the journey getting there is becoming fun! I've tried a few diets all were emotional rollercoasters that left me feeling like a failure. I saw my future of heart disease and forever feeling weak and useless and started to just let it come. It's funny how I can tell myself, I'm going to have health issues and it doesn't seem to click or even register. However, to have a doctor tell me, I'm pre-diabetic and then it just clicks. Maybe not right away. But I realized, I haven't had children yet, I'm having trouble moving and it's only going to get worse if I don't change something. How am I going to keep up with my kids, share what I love with them, if I can't even do those things myself?
SO, thus began my journey, for real this time! I started with a meal plan. Arbonne Nutrition, this is the healthiest i've ever eaten. But, it was maintainable and I cheat... A lot, but I feel 100% better than I have in years. Significantly less pain in my knees. I've lost 20 lbs and I can sit crossed legged again. After a few weeks on plan, I started feeling like I could start climbing again.
I started climbing at my local bouldering gym and found some friends to climb with. I look forward to climbing everyday... I might be overdoing it, but I don't really care! I dragged my husband with me a few times and before I new it, something I said to him during a climb, clicked and now we're climbing together regularly. I love it! My grip strength is improving, I'm seeing muscle where there was just flab, I can drop down from higher heights and I'm trying harder and harder routes.
I'm so motivated, that I am now trying to condition myself off the wall to make climbing easier and more dynamic. I'm truly motivated.
Before, I started making changes to my food and activity. I was becoming the worst version of me. Not just in weight or looks, but in mind. I couldn't look at myself in a mirror without saying the worst things to myself. It was bad. I hated everything about myself so much so, that I didn't just say them in my own head, but out loud and to my husband. I worried about what other people thought of me, what they're saying behind my back. I couldn't take myself seriously, why should they?
Side note: You don't know the mental game someone is playing with themselves when they're out in public trying to better themselves. They know how they look, They say the ugliest most vile things to themselves. they don't need snide comments about their weight, tummy, legs, arms, etc, etc said either to their face or behind their backs. I can't tell you how many times I've almost left the climbing gym, because I am the biggest person there failing on a route and every time I fail, my mind reminds me it's because I'm fat and out of shape and everyone is thinking the same things about me. Have grace for those in the gym, park, side of the road, yard etc. You don't know their journey, their health issues, their mental mind games. We're all trying to get along the best we can and we don't need to be tearing each other down.
Back to my story; I'm not cured of saying the ugliest things to myself, but with all my hard work, and I mean HARD, it's getting better. Clothes are fitting better, I'm getting more comfortable, more strong and because I've made so much more progress. I know, I'm not weak anymore, I'm WORTH THE FIGHT and so are YOU! Wherever you're at, don't give up. You can do it, find your network, find what works for you. It's hard, but so worth it. I'm still on my journey, it will be a lifetime. But, I know, I'm better for it. I want to live this live, not just survive it.
SO, thus began my journey, for real this time! I started with a meal plan. Arbonne Nutrition, this is the healthiest i've ever eaten. But, it was maintainable and I cheat... A lot, but I feel 100% better than I have in years. Significantly less pain in my knees. I've lost 20 lbs and I can sit crossed legged again. After a few weeks on plan, I started feeling like I could start climbing again.
I started climbing at my local bouldering gym and found some friends to climb with. I look forward to climbing everyday... I might be overdoing it, but I don't really care! I dragged my husband with me a few times and before I new it, something I said to him during a climb, clicked and now we're climbing together regularly. I love it! My grip strength is improving, I'm seeing muscle where there was just flab, I can drop down from higher heights and I'm trying harder and harder routes.
I'm so motivated, that I am now trying to condition myself off the wall to make climbing easier and more dynamic. I'm truly motivated.
Before, I started making changes to my food and activity. I was becoming the worst version of me. Not just in weight or looks, but in mind. I couldn't look at myself in a mirror without saying the worst things to myself. It was bad. I hated everything about myself so much so, that I didn't just say them in my own head, but out loud and to my husband. I worried about what other people thought of me, what they're saying behind my back. I couldn't take myself seriously, why should they?
Side note: You don't know the mental game someone is playing with themselves when they're out in public trying to better themselves. They know how they look, They say the ugliest most vile things to themselves. they don't need snide comments about their weight, tummy, legs, arms, etc, etc said either to their face or behind their backs. I can't tell you how many times I've almost left the climbing gym, because I am the biggest person there failing on a route and every time I fail, my mind reminds me it's because I'm fat and out of shape and everyone is thinking the same things about me. Have grace for those in the gym, park, side of the road, yard etc. You don't know their journey, their health issues, their mental mind games. We're all trying to get along the best we can and we don't need to be tearing each other down.
Back to my story; I'm not cured of saying the ugliest things to myself, but with all my hard work, and I mean HARD, it's getting better. Clothes are fitting better, I'm getting more comfortable, more strong and because I've made so much more progress. I know, I'm not weak anymore, I'm WORTH THE FIGHT and so are YOU! Wherever you're at, don't give up. You can do it, find your network, find what works for you. It's hard, but so worth it. I'm still on my journey, it will be a lifetime. But, I know, I'm better for it. I want to live this live, not just survive it.
-God Bless, Kara
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